Shame and guilt – the bad way

Written by: Profossgbg 

In session, shame and guilt can be lovely tools, well-chosen words create a mood which almost almost can be touched.

But we people have an impressive talent to put shame in things and phenomena that make us happy. Just that we socially legalizes to do certain things just because we have taken substances, such as alcohol, to minimize our account of the normally not that ok behaviour, for example, a Saturday night, is it not a strange thing?

Shame and guilt can also come to you do not understand one’s own sexuality. Even if you yourself have been a victim of a sexual assault may, for example, a loved one might been a victim. One have listened and tried to be a mainstay after the horrible experience that set itself in the whole of the person’s identity. Suppose, then, that at the same time as one consoles so one knows that you yourself get really horny when fantasizing about rape, which is an extremely common fantasy. Think for a moment, how will the shame and guilt come into this?

Whether it is children or the other things in life to come between oneself and one’s sexual development as it happens for many that it creates a tunnel vision about their sexual happiness and development. But, oh, something creates a change so that I now want to focus on me and what will my partner think if I bring this up? Think for a moment, how will the shame and guilt come into this?

We are socialized, trained by those around us, consciously and unconsciously, in how we behave in different situations. It takes courage to break the social norms we’ve learned. But I promise, the feeling when you wilfully are honest about that that is socially not fully accepted, that interest, whatever it may be and get a positive confirmation, perhaps even getting out to find a like-minded person… the feeling is very rewarding.

If you know someone you can talk to, do it, otherwise, talk to yourself, what is it that is wrong? A tip is to write down the fantasies and then ask yourself, what is it that is not positive and can bring joy? What would be bad for you or another person? Dare to make yourself happy.

Personally, I felt real shame and anxiety because of my interest in rapeplay, when I listened to a person tell me about the terrible impact the rape had on that person – and I fantasize about things like that – we are talking serious shame and anxiety. Until the day I met a sexually submissive woman who told me about here sexual orientation. She has no idea of the importance that her openness and wisdom has had for me. It is not wrong to do something with the other or fantasize about things that you know could be realy harmful, if it is WITH consent, actually, just like the act can, instead, be something lovely and beautiful or simply great sex.